The holiday season can be extremely hard for many. I know that I tend to remember holidays of years past, long to be with my family, and miss loved ones who have passed on. I also have a real distaste for the commercial aspect and the mass amount of consumerism that plays into the holiday season in our culture. Not to mention that we lose focus on taking care of our physical self as we spend time running here to there, shopping, visiting, and experiencing the hustle and bustle. While I know that many people are inspired by the sights, the sounds, and the aromas. You have to admit that the amplified energy levels this time of year creates can be difficult, even for the most avid holiday enthusiast. Many factors come into play, sadness, loneliness, financial stress, time crunches, or sensory overload and they all take a toll.
Seniors are very susceptible to depression associated with the holidays. Just think about it from their perspective…
An elderly widow, we’ll call her Sue, lives at home alone and her children and grandchildren are coming to visit. This year Sue has been feeling less motivated to get prepared than ever. Maybe it’s because she is coming very close to that 80 year mark, or maybe it is just because she has recently stopped driving. Sue is worried that she won’t have all of the necessary food, presents, and amenities that her family is used to when they arrive for their traditional 4 day visit, but what could she have done, she has to rely on neighbors for a ride to the store, or she has to use the senior bus, and it is not easy to be prepared and remember all you need on the occasional bus trip. Plus the stores are so crowded and big that she can’t find anything. Her kids are bringing the dinner, they tell her not to worry about anything, but this makes Sue feel inadequate. Do they think she is not capable? What will be next, if she can’t drive and can’t cook dinner when will they decide she is too feeble to be alone? The last thing Sue wants is to have to move into one of those places for old people. They arrive, her kids, grandkids, a pet dog, they bring presents and food. Sue’s entire routine is changed. Sue is so grateful to have her family with her, happy they are willing to travel and share their time, but she is exhausted before they even arrive, and by the end of the visit, she feels like she could fall over from fatigue. Can you see how this might lead to the holiday blues? Can you see how Sue might have conflicted feelings as she is appreciative and thankful to have this time with her family, but she also is so out of her own routine that she begins to sense anxiousness and worry?
Seniors are very susceptible to depression associated with the holidays. Just think about it from their perspective…
An elderly widow, we’ll call her Sue, lives at home alone and her children and grandchildren are coming to visit. This year Sue has been feeling less motivated to get prepared than ever. Maybe it’s because she is coming very close to that 80 year mark, or maybe it is just because she has recently stopped driving. Sue is worried that she won’t have all of the necessary food, presents, and amenities that her family is used to when they arrive for their traditional 4 day visit, but what could she have done, she has to rely on neighbors for a ride to the store, or she has to use the senior bus, and it is not easy to be prepared and remember all you need on the occasional bus trip. Plus the stores are so crowded and big that she can’t find anything. Her kids are bringing the dinner, they tell her not to worry about anything, but this makes Sue feel inadequate. Do they think she is not capable? What will be next, if she can’t drive and can’t cook dinner when will they decide she is too feeble to be alone? The last thing Sue wants is to have to move into one of those places for old people. They arrive, her kids, grandkids, a pet dog, they bring presents and food. Sue’s entire routine is changed. Sue is so grateful to have her family with her, happy they are willing to travel and share their time, but she is exhausted before they even arrive, and by the end of the visit, she feels like she could fall over from fatigue. Can you see how this might lead to the holiday blues? Can you see how Sue might have conflicted feelings as she is appreciative and thankful to have this time with her family, but she also is so out of her own routine that she begins to sense anxiousness and worry?
So what do we do?
The Mayo Clinic reports the top 3 triggers for holiday stress are relationships, finances, and physical demands. Sue is burdened by all of these. Many seniors are in this position, and even if they have no issues with money, even if their family takes care of every aspect of the physical load, everyone has to cope with the relationships (or lack thereof) which is an undercurrent of the season. So we need to simplify the whole process. Slow down. Focus on contact, interaction, and connection. Make the seniors in your life realize just how much love surrounds them during this holiday season.
The Mayo Clinic reports the top 3 triggers for holiday stress are relationships, finances, and physical demands. Sue is burdened by all of these. Many seniors are in this position, and even if they have no issues with money, even if their family takes care of every aspect of the physical load, everyone has to cope with the relationships (or lack thereof) which is an undercurrent of the season. So we need to simplify the whole process. Slow down. Focus on contact, interaction, and connection. Make the seniors in your life realize just how much love surrounds them during this holiday season.
Photo Courtesy of Mimi_K http://www.flickr.com/photos/mimk/2117234691/
Excellent reminder of what is important. Thanks Erin.
ReplyDeleteThanks for helping us to see it through their eyes. It can be a bit challenging for the family to try to fill in the gaps where previous family traditions were held by the seniors in our lives. For Thanksgiving, we tried to fill in some of those gaps by bringing along our laptop, plugging it into the tv and looping a slideshow of pictures from times past hoping to trigger some conversation and good feelings from revisiting lifetime memories. We enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteExcellent insight. I'm dealing with elderly in-laws and so much of this makes sense to me and our situation.
ReplyDeleteThe digital photos on television is a great idea. What an excellent way to bridge past memories with current technology. Coping with problems that come about during this stage of aging can be tough. Keeping our loved ones engaged can do a world of good.
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